From The Heart Of A Wife



This past Sunday as I sat under the teaching of my Pastor, I listened to every detail he spoke on submission and I could not have agreed more with the teaching (you can listen to this and all of our sermons online right here). Spot on, well done, executed perfectly, precisely and right on the money, I say! So…

“Why then, is it so a hard to submit to that very same man?”

Because, like you, I too struggle with the very same ideals and thoughts that plague our easily swayed brains into thinking some of the lies Satan has so eloquently placed into our hearts, souls and minds.

“Why did God make us inferior to Men?”

He didn’t. God made us equal. In Genesis 1:27, the bible says, So God created man in His [own] image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. He values women. God values us just the same as men. In fact, everyone has to submit at some point: Employee to employer, people to government, one to another, wife to husband, child to parent, man to God and Jesus Himself, on the cross, to His Father. In any organization, weather it be a company, a sports team, the armed forces or simply a family, there is a need for order and structure for it to run properly. God’s family is no different. He has seen fit to establish roles and responsibilities for us, a leadership structure, to provide stability to the family. I need to remember, from the proverbs, my worth in Him is far above Rubies.

“If I submit, then I am agreeing”

Oh, wouldn’t that be nice, to always agree with the decisions our husbands make? The simple fact is that submission doesn’t even begin until we disagree, because then its not called submission, its called agreement. This subject makes me think of Psalm 91:4-5, He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Over twenty-seven years of marriage I have realized the value of “huposasso” the greek word which literally means under rank and file. When I submit to my husband there is a spiritual protection that God provides where I enjoy the covering and shelter of the fiery darts the enemy hurls my way, and I fear not.

“Submission is a form of weakness”

In any other form submission is honored, celebrated even , except that of a wife to a husband. If you submit to a boss or commander, you are a good employee, a good soldier. So how is it that submitting to the leader of the home is considered a weakness? Well, frankly, thank the feminist movement. Ah, gasp, yes I said it. Now, there have been some very good outcomes of this movement: our right to vote, for instance. During the second wave of the feminist movement, namely 1960-1980, this ideology emerged that we should not only have political rights the same as a man, but that we should become men. Work like they work, think like they think…take on their role. Dangerous! Biblically, God gave two distinct roles in the family; that of a husband and that of a wife. When we, as women, take on both roles, we find ourselves confused, exhausted and without peace. I am NOT saying women shouldn’t work or have a career. The woman in Proverbs clearly was very industrious. What I am saying is we need to learn and grow in our understanding of how God structures the family and conform to it. We are not weak if we stay home, and we are not un-submissive if we work. We are “meek” when we follow our God given role, under the shelter of God and our husband’s protection.

“I have to lead, my husband won’t!”

As Pastor Ted said Sunday, “Let him hit something hard!” I know, as a wife, what you’re thinking, “I would like him to hit something hard, but that means I have to suffer through that”. Yes, that is right, but if you continue to make leadership decisions for the family, your man will be happy to let you…one less thing. We need to trust the Holy Spirit to do the work in our husbands He desires to do. All the yelling, pleading, digging our heels in doesn’t work, right? We need to pray, diligently and more often for our husbands to learn and grow in the knowledge of their roles as leaders in the home. The one thing I hated most as a young wife was feeling like my husband’s mother. Now, if you’re reading this and you are married to a non-believer, first things first, pray for his salvation above all.
(There is a 30-day prayer challenge at the women’s table)


If you have ever bought into these lies, then you’re like many Christian women trying to figure out what your role is and how to live it with a biblical worldview. I suggest finding a mentor, a woman a season ahead of you that you can sit with and ask questions to.


When we learn, grow and understand our God given roles as a wife, when we learn how to SUBMIT, the right way, the way God intended, then, we experience His full joy, His full peace. We will feel valued, loved and honored, not necessarily by man, but by God!


Submit to an audience of one!


If you need help navigating through life, contact the Women’s Ministry and set up some one-on-one discipleship through Woman2Woman mentoring.