The Perfect Weakness
The warmth of the sun has beckoned me into the garden the last few days. I find it to be so therapeutic, gardening. As I made my way around the yard, watering the plants, I came to the fig tree, and my heart was encouraged and made well. This fig tree was a $10 purchase at Lowes last month, due to the damage caused by the frost. Lowes considered it to be worthless, discounting it even more when I went to purchase it.
I brought the fig tree home, in high hopes of a flourishing, bountiful tree this spring. February continued on, with many more freezing nights, temperatures dropping below what the young tree could bear. I became discouraged and settled in my mind that maybe Lowes was right. The damage might be irreversible.
But this morning, this beautiful sun-kissed morning, a fig tree stood before me, it’s trunk still securely wrapped to the wooden anchor, and there bursting forth through the bark, is new life; glorious new life.
I ran inside the house to grab my phone to take a picture. The Lord was instantly speaking into my heart wonderful truths and my eyes began to well, and they have not stopped welling since. It’s been three days. Three days people, so I must share.
“For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” – Hebrews 4:12
That is what happened Sunday as I sat next to my husband, hearing the words from Colossians 2, my heart broken before the Lord. I am one of those people. One of those people that intellectually understands that there is nothing I can do to earn a right standing with God. But I am also one of those people, though I know this truth intellectually, my condemned heart is far from that truth, and the Lord was gracious and loving enough to enlighten me in the matter.
It all came to a head Sunday evening, as I sat in silence by myself. I began whispering words to the Lord. “Father I am a weak mother. I feel like I don’t know what I am doing half the time. How do I instill these truths into their hearts? Why do I yearn to have more time with them, but allow myself to get caught up in other ‘responsibilities’? I feel like I am failing. Father, I am a weak wife. Why is it so hard for me to love my husband in the way he receives love? Father, I am weak and completely overwhelmed. I can’t do it all!” The Lord interrupted my cries and said,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
The Lord began to point out that I was not walking in his strength. I was trying to accomplish these things using my own abilities, my own talents, working my way to a right standing instead of accepting what was freely given. Letting my heart grow cold and condemned, until it reached a desperate point.
The fig tree I had so admired that morning came rushing back into my memory. I am that fig tree. That weak damaged fig tree; mulched by it’s own dead fruit that had blackened with wrong motivations. But thankfully, when I am weak, His strength is made perfect, and He is able to bring new life from this damaged tree.
“God is greater than our heart and knows all things.” – 1 John 3:20
He knows who I am in Christ, and there is nothing more that I can add to that.
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.” – John 15:4