My Grace Is Sufficient
After fourteen years serving in ministry as an assistant pastor, my husband was asked, by God, to lay down three things: his power, his position, and his paycheck, in order to follow the call of God. At first, I thought, this is easy, it’s just a test. No big deal, say yes and we’ll continue to minister just as we have for the past fourteen years. Well, that wasn’t the case. Not only did God call him to lay those things down, but required a total abandonment for His purposes. At 46 years old with no retirement, this was to say the least, very uncharted waters for us.
God was calling us to plant another church, but this time with my husband as the Senior Pastor. This scared me to death. You see, I am a shallow water kind of person. I love being in the ocean, but only where I can touch. I like to be able to have my feet on the ground, feeling the water, looking out into the deep, but all the while in the safety of the shores. It’s nice there!
This time would be different. This time, God was requiring me to go out into the deep. I don’t like the deep, I tried to explain to God. There are predators, sharks and such, I can’t see underneath and I know it’s very dark and very deep.
So, like any good pastors wife, I began to swim to shore, where I was comfortable and I could touch again, and every time I made my way to my comfort zone, God, in His grace, put me back out again. I was not a fan!
I learned a thing or two while treading in the deep waters; God’s grace is deeper still. Every time I felt as though I were going to drown, which was often, God would whisper, “My grace is sufficient for you.” At first these words terrified me, for I did not want to hear them. But, the longer he made me stay there, the more I understood what He was trying to accomplish in me. You see, He has a work He wants me to do and it’s going to require a total dependency on Him; something the shallow shores knows little of.
“Mercy,” I would cry out, “mercy! I don’t deserve this, why do you keep putting me in deep waters. I like the shore.” Or so I thought. He whispers again…”My grace is sufficient for you.”
Because He loves me, he taught me that all I needed in the deep places was to trust Him. If He said He will do it, He will!
I learned that walking on the shore by myself is comfortable, cruising along taking in the scenery, breathing easy. But, the deep? That requires a total dependance on Him, a reliance I had never experienced before.
He is teaching me to tread water, keeping my eyes upon Him, for strength, guidance and direction. I now listen intently for instruction.
I didn’t deserve this experience with God, I didn’t even want it. But, in His grace He found it within His will to give it to me!
It’s been said that mercy is not getting what you do deserve and grace is getting what you don’t deserve.
I was crying out for mercy but… God has been gracious to me! His grace is sufficient for me!